Todo Es Perfecto: A South American Awakening
By: Jana DeBusk
I arrived at a Hare Krishna temple in Quito dehydrated, vomiting, and urinating blood. Sometime in Cuzco, I had ingested a Peruvian ice cube; the small, unassuming vessel was teeming with unfamiliar bacteria. Through tears and broken Spanish, I explained my situation to the Madre. She was gentle and kind, but didn’t understand a damn word that came out of my mouth. “Phalguna!” she said, “Ayudame, por favor…este niña…”
A man who was eating at the adjacent table had been quietly watching. He was young, but older than me, and wore a simple T-Shirt and jeans. His body was long, and his presence was strong and inviting. He had a dark face, and his eyes were the color of Colombian coffee. My cheeks were starting to stain from trails of salty tears as he came to my table and said, “You are sick? Hospital?” His booming voice ricocheted through the empty spaces of my body. Yes, I nodded. He grabbed my hand and led me to the hospital. After recieving antibiotics and instructions from the doctor, he returned me to my room.
At noon the next day, Phalguna knocked. I noticed his arms for the first time as he stood with his hands on his hips. He had scars covering his lean muscles and broad shoulders. I wanted to know why. I had the sudden urge to discover everything about him; the way his hair smelled, how his tongue would feel inside my mouth, if his voice would send tremors down my spine forever. But he was a monk and his body was Krishna's. I put the thoughts out of my mind.
Although he primarily worked at the Temple, he had a project on an eco-farm that he needed to finish, about six hours away. "Come? Con...me?" he said. My voice caught in my throat as I listed all the dangers in my mind: torture, gangbang, robbery, kidnapping. “Sure,” I said with a steely resolution.
The next day, we took a bus to a small town in the Ecuadorian jungle. I was in and out of sleep, but I could feel electricity as his hand brushed mine on the bumpy ride. I woke completely as the bus stopped, and discovered he was holding my hand. He saw that I had noticed, looked at me, and kissed me softly on the lips. I was floating. It was midnight and I was floating in a city called Tena.
“Hotel ok?” He said, “It’s late. Bus tomorrow.” Torture, gangbang, robbery, kidnapping. “Sure,” I said. He booked a room with one bed for both of us, no screens on the open windows, and the screech of monkeys in the distance. I was terrified, but wildly excited. My lust for adventure mixed with a strange longing to be close to this beautiful man. He showered as I sat on the bed, my body aching from the long bus ride. He came out in just a towel, a rope necklace looped around his neck and under his arm – a testament to his devotion to Krishna. He had tattoos covering his sculpted body. I was smitten. He smiled and asked if I needed a massage. He merely said the words, and my clothes were off.
I was naked, faced-down, feeling the strong hands of Phalguna caressing me, but it wasn’t just my aching muscles he was healing. He was reaching something deeper. He released my mind, and my heart opened. As a monk he had been celibate for the last 11 years, he told me. Then he kissed my neck and left a trail of soft love all the way down my spine. He kissed the back of my knees and continued to the ends of my toes. I was shaking with the sheer force of love that I felt. He looked me in the eyes when we made love. He held my hand in a strong grip and guided my body to please both of us.
No words were spoken that night. They had no place, no right to be there. This was sacred. This was spiritual. This was physical and existential. I felt the calling of Kama Sutra, the pure love of a beautiful man, and the calm of finding my purpose. In the week that followed, we escaped frequently to explore our love. Our classroom was the stream, and the forest. In that week he taught me something. He taught me everything… My purpose was love. The spaces in my body once filled with emptiness had been replaced by a warm and comforting glow. I had been awakened.
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